The Calm Before the first storm
Thursday night was a great night. Blakelyn was holding strong. We got to put on her first bow of many. It was so nice to finally see her at peace and looking like a girl!
Friday morning mom got to the hospital for the first 8:00 am visit. The nurse didn't have great news. She told me that she had lots of episodes of sleep apnea. Those are common for a baby her size but they were concerned that it was her telling us that something was going on because of how many she had through the night. The doctor decided to stop her feedings, start a new IV and give her sugar and fats through the IV. Blakelyn's white blood cell count came back a little off but not bad so to stay one step ahead of her they started up more antibiotics. I was thinking OK sounds great I know there is going to be set backs I just need to be strong for her.
I came back for the 11:00 am changing and the nurse had more bad news. Her IV had blown and they were going to have to try for another one so they can give her her feedings and meds. I was still thinking Ok our road is bumpy today be strong. I left for festival of trees and the nurse said she was going to call and let me know when the IV was in and they were back on track. Well 45min passed and I had got no phone call. I then called the NICU asking how it was going. She told me they cant get a IV to take. My heart dropped... My mind stared racing... how are they going to feed her, what about the infection, how are they going to get the antibiotics to her, how was she feeling with all the pokes of trying for IV's? The nurse then asked me for my consent for them to try for a picc line. Then my mind goes to anger. Why the heck did they take the one out 2 days go? I told them if that's what will be best then yes. I was also thinking I hope Ben is ok with me making that decision. After I get off the phone with the NICU I called Ben telling him whats going on. He was pretty calm and told me to keep him posted on the news of the picc line. Well... 1hr 41min passed. NO phone call. I start to freak out even more. I then give them a second call. No luck with the picc line yet. They had tried 2 different times. They give 2 different nurses 2 tries each to get a picc line to work. I start to break down even harder into tears. My poor baby girl of only 1lb 11oz has no idea why all this is happening. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I wanted so badly trade her places. Let them poke me all they want to and I have a bad fear of needles.
I then call Ben and tell them whats going on. He starts to go through his own emotions. He decides to leave work in Logan and head down to the Hospital. I then start to feel guilty for even leaving her. Why was today the day I decide to go out and do something a little more normal??? I then tell my mom I can stay and she said she understands and we turn around and head right back to Ogden.
I get to the hospital. Ben and his mom are there and I am wondering how things are going. Now they are thinking they are going to have better luck with an IV again. UGH!!! This roller coaster ride is not fun. It felt like forever sitting outside the NICU waiting to hear how it all is going! Blakelyn's nurse comes out and says they finally got a IV to take. Its on the side of her head which I guess is a less painful place and normally a better choice. But the doctor comes out and says that one didn't take. They are going to try again. So dumb why is all this happening to her. She is a fragile thing what is all this going to do to her vitals? They finally got another one to stay in her leg and they then started her fluids and antibiotics. We sat and talked with the Head Nurse of the NICU and got a good explanation of this roller coaster ride. We felt so much better with life at that moment.
Ben and I went in and saw Blakelyn... we both felt at peace when we are there with her. Our family feels complete.
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