34 weeks gestation

Easier but harder

 

This past week has been a hard one for this mamma. They tell you bottle/nipple feeding is the hardest part about the NICU. You never realize how hard things are till you have to experience it for yourself. We are still on the rollercoaster ride but its not as up and down as it was at first. Our bumps are smaller but longer for sure.

Blakelyn gets to nipple feed 2 times a day still. The hardest part about it is that as soon as she conquers it she can go home. Its different each time she takes a bottle. One time she takes 25cc like a champ, no problems at all. The next time she is only taking 5cc and choking and desating the whole time. Then every once and awhile she will take the full bottle but never has it been for mommy or daddy only the nurses. I need to keep reminding myself that developmentally her brain/body don't fully understand the suck, swallow, breath for another week. She has been doing really good with nippling overall. Some is better then none is what we keep hearing.

This week we have reached another fun milestone.... She is now in a big girl open crib. No more isolate or port holes. Changing diapers and swaddling her is much easier now. But we were becoming pros with the isolate if I do say so myself. The hardest thing about an open crib is for her to maintain a good temperature herself with out help. The first day out she was good but on the colder side. We just wrapped her in 2 blankets, and put her in warmer clothes. That has been doing the trick and working like a charm.

She is starting to get fatter and fatter she is almost to big for the preemie clothes. It makes me sad but super happy. Its a good thing, the extra weight will help make everything in her life easier. But it is kind of sad. I am so use to this tiny 1, 2, 3 pound baby which is all I have know as a mom. I am so proud of her though all of all the progress she has made in the last 9weeks of her life. Blakelyn is now weighing 4lb 8.5oz   2,017 gr. She is a chunk hahahaha

Very first outfit!

Second outfit ever!

Her oxygen levels have been doing amazing she is now on .1 LT of flow and sitting at room air 21% oxygen. Our next step with oxygen is for it to be off and her be breathing and oxygenating on her very own. Today she has been doing amazing and breathing like a normal 40weeker. She might be fully off the oxygen and all that is left is eating on her own. That will be such a blessing to not have to take her home on monitors and oxygen. I have always assumed that would probably be the case but it will be once again another miracle.

First time in an open crib

First bath in a tub

I know everyone wants to know when she is coming home. I want to know when that day is too. Its been a hard week for this mamma knowing she can come home at anytime but she isn't ready just yet. I am so ready for that day to come. I want this phase of the NICU experience to be over so we can check the final thing off our list. But it is what it is and that day will come eventually!!!!

Thank you for all the love and support you are all still giving us. I will keep everyone updated on when coming home is getting closer.



Getting weighed like a big girl



 

33 weeks gestation..

Mile stones

 

 

Over this past week we have been hitting major miles stones left and right.

Blakelyn is now on room temperature and holding her own swaddled up like a little baby. She has been doing amazing with that. She loves to be swaddled in tight. Its been good for her and her feeding tubes relationship hahaha before the nurses had to try their best to trap her hands down because she loved to pull at her feeding tube. 

On Wednesday I got to the NICU for my 5:00 visit and find out they had given her, her first bottle and she took all 34cc. I was beyond myself. I tell the nurse " I thought you don't start that till 34 weeks." she tells me "Oh the doctor feels like she is ready to try it out twice a day, either breastfeeding or bottle feeding." I was so happy!! We have been told this is the next hardest mile stone for a micro preemie like her. That night at 8:00 I decided to try nursing because I can now. I knew she wasn't going to latch on but I was so excited to give it a try and feel that Mother Child connection.  She sucked at it a few times which was the most amazing experience ever...

Thursday I get to the NICU at 5:00 with my mom and I tried bottle feeding her for my first time. It also was the coolest feeling ever I have been holing on to the knowing that this day would happen eventually but I never knew it would this soon. She had 16cc of her 34cc. Not as much as I was anticipating but I knew this was going to be hard for her and me. Me emotionally but her physically. Taking a bottle is a lot of work and uses up lots of her energy.

Friday was finally here... Dad got to see her for the second time this whole week. Ben had to go back to school which has been so hard but something that has to be done. He is amazing for that and one day when Blakelyn is wanting to just quit we can tell her about daddy and how he stuck it out for her. Anyways... Ben got to give her his first of many bottles. She was more tired this time and took 8cc. We know this is going to be hard but we are so proud of her. That night at 8:00 I attempt to give her, her second bottle for the day and she struggled a little gagging on the milk hitting the back of her throat and her oxygen levels dropping so I call it quits and she had 18cc but a lot of it ended up in the burp rag so who knows how much she really ate or not.

Saturday Ben called in the AM to see how she was doing. The nurse told him she had blood like mucus in her stool and she was going to have her second eye exam. It was going to be a rough morning for her. He decide to stay home and take care of things there, we would be no good at the hospital sitting around worrying. We got there at 2:00 I gave her another bottle. She did much better. She drank all but 6cc of it and her sats were normal overall. It was such a relief after the kink of morning she had. We decided we were going to give her a break and give her 12hrs to recuperate and save up energy for her next feeding. I had told the nurse we wanted a call no matter the time to hear how the bottle went. Well.... 2:20am my phone rings and all I remember is her saying she took the whole thing. I was so happy!!!! She did it again. Resting between is going to be what we have to do for now till she is bigger.  

While all this is going on with her trying to nipple the doctor is starting to turn down her oxygen flow. Blakelyn has been doing amazing with that also. She is now off the machine and just hooked into the oxygen in the wall. Its crazy to think that when she comes home it could be a possibility for her to be totally off oxygen and we wouldn't have to deal with that and monitors at home. I had always planned on that being the case because she was so tiny and not doing the best for the longest time. But you just never know... Her oxygen is now at .5 flow and sitting at 25% oxygen. Blakelyn is always amazing us I don't know why we are as surprised as we are each time we hit each mile stone but we are.

We are so lucky to have her as our first born. Its not the ideal situation to be in but I know we were chosen to be her parent and were chosen to watch a tiny miracle right before our eyes everyday.

First bottle with mom

First bottle with dad

 

 

 

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen 
by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
 
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
 
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. 
 Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
 
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie." 

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
 
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
 
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
 
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.  Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
 
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
 
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has just the right amount of selfishness."
 
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
 
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." 

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
  

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."



32 Weeks gestation

Getting Easier (kind of)

 

We have had pretty much all good news this week. The doctor turned her flow down even more it is now at 1.5 and she is between 27%-23% oxygen. Blakelyn has been doing amazing she is still having her usual up and down with her oxygen levels but that is still very normal for her age.

On Monday I got a call from the doctor saying her crit came back low and they were going to need my verbal consent for a second blood transfusion. I knew deep down this was going to happen and I kept asking what her crit levels were and all they kept telling me oh its normal its good, why you asking you have any concern? I would just tell them oh no concerns just wondering. So when I got that phone call and he told me she needed it I was prepared. This is something we have to do and go through so we can bring home a sassy health Blakelyn but it is never easy. All day at work all I could think about is IV's. I hate thinking about it but no matter what I did it was always on my mind. I called and asked how things were going and they said they finally got an IV in and they were waiting for the blood to get there. The word FINALLY I tried to not think about and just say ok. I am glad we didn't have to go through what we did the first time with IV's. Of course today is the day Ben gets sick and he cant go in with me to see her. Walline and I get to the NICU to see Blakelyn and I finally felt brave enough to ask for the not so fun answers. They had to try for an IV 2 times and 3 hours in that IV went bad and she got blood allover her. The final IV stayed good for the rest of the time YAHOO!!! Glad that one is over.
The rest of this week has been pretty calm and normal for a NICU life. Blakelyn is now up to 1540gr 3lb 7oz. It was crazy in one day she gained 140gr we were wondering if it was accurate or not but it is. She is eating and digesting 28cc of the 24cal fortified boobie milk. Other then that not much has changed. We love boring days when not much has happened. All we need is for her to get to 4lbs and she can be out of her isolate and in real baby clothes.

After a week of waiting Ben get to finally hold Blakelyn.

First time getting to hold her.

31 Weeks Gestation

Binky Loving

 

Over this past week we have had exciting/boring days. Blakelyn has been doing really good. She has been doing everything right. As you can tell she has been loving her binky. Its a love hate for mom and dad. Its good for her to practice the sucking motion but at the same time its hard for her to remember to breath at a normal rate. Its just a part of the learning process. It is helping get her ready for bottle/nipple feeding so we try it off and on all day long and she loves it. She cries till she gets it and calms right down. Just like mommy was as a baby.

Over this week she has been getting FAT!!!! Last Friday she was at 1160gr 2lb 9oz Ben and I were so happy to hear she was finally up one whole pound from lowest weight. Then the next day we were floored she was at 1240gr the day after that she was at 1260gr. We were thinking oh my goodness she is getting big fast the booby milk and calories must be doing their job.

The next day was her first eye exam. We are always nervous for new things. The unknown of what could happen is the hardest part of it. They eye exam went well they say she handled it very well. Her eyes are still premature and they are going to check them again in 2 weeks. The next weigh in she had dropped down to 1180gr. It is very normal for her to fluctuate. The eye exam could have caused her stress which means burning extra calories. It is so crazy how that can play that big of a roll in her weight. She is still so fragile and can be up one day or even minute and change the next.

As the week went on we were on a pretty steady up in weight. Blakelyn then recovered to 1250gr to 1310gr. Today she is now at 1350gr the big number 3. Our little sassy girl has hit the 3lb mark, way faster then we could have ever imagined. She has changed so much over the past 6 weeks. She now have a double chin, starting to get a chubby bum, and chunky arms. We are here everyday and it still seems like she is changing over night. One day we came for our normal AM visit and she is in New Born diapers. HOLY COW!!! when did this happen... She is getting so big. She was having lots of blow outs and pooping all over her bedding so it was time for her to graduate to big girl diapers. They are huge on her like at first the micro preemie diapers were.  

Blakelyn continues to amaze us. The doctor has been weaning her down on the oxygen flow. She was up to the highest flow 4.0 and stating low at 22% ish. He started bumping it down to 3.5. Then to 3.0 and now she is at 2.5flow. Blakelyn is doing really well with it. Her oxygen percentage is around 24% to 35% all day long and her desats are fewer and less in-between then a few weeks ago. (21% is normal oxygen % you and I breath)

 

Dec. 12th 2014

Jan. 3rd 2015